On boys and ball games (From Watford Observer)

On boys and ball games

5:47pm Monday 23rd March 2009 in Connections By Charlotte Prior

Last night I was at a party. The room was divided into those who wanted to mingle, and those who wanted to watch football or mess around on laptops. Except I found myself wondering if the football was just a convenient backdrop, to avoid having to make polite conversation. And this made me think, do guys do small talk?

So often we want to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. We want to be accepted. We go along to parties, but we don’t know what to say. We long to connect with one another, but it is often the unspoken messages that build up a sense of unity or community. With one look a person can be either accepted or rejected by a group. So we test one another out. We connect over humour, technology, messing around, shared experiences and sport instead. And that is why, love it or loathe it, football has become a universal language. If in doubt, get the football out. There will always be tactics and strategies to discuss, the latest signing, or the premiership. Alan Hanson, eat your heart out. And now there is a generation who have learnt geography by mapping the world through their knowledge of football stadiums. You could say that the world can be divided into those who engage with football and those who don’t.

And, as we negotiate the politics of the football pitch, it makes me wonder are relationships a bit like a ball game? Are we participators, or do we prefer to watch from the side lines? But if we want to engage with the game, we have to get in the game. There will be tackles, and tensions, passion and penalties, curve balls and celebrating. I once heard my ballet teacher say that the footwork involved in a football game is like a ballet dance. Through football we discover the rules of engagement with one another. And maybe that is why football is called the beautiful game.

• Charlotte Prior works for Girl About & Connections, a local charity that aims "to encourage and empower young people to make positive, informed decisions".