Am I a trouble-maker? I’m led to believe I am. (From Watford Observer)

Am I a trouble-maker? I’m led to believe I am.

6:36pm Monday 8th March 2010 in

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I made the mistake of cutting in line ahead of an old-age pensioner yesterday. I was boarding a bus and she had been waiting for a good 5 seconds, prior to my arrival. What an inconsiderate, irresponsible delinquent I had become at the age of 24 - and she had made me very aware of this.

It wasn’t that it was bitterly cold outside, or that the temperature had made my testicles shrivel up and go back inside of my body, that had me rushing for warmth - of course not.

Rather, that I am a part of this generation of ill-mannered, disrespectful youths, which are haphazardly walking the streets, unappreciative of the role her father had played in the Second World War.

Maybe I didn’t appreciate her father impregnating her mother 70 years ago, but I would never tell her this.

What resulted were ten minutes of her hurling disappointment and abuse at me, whilst I tried to defend my actions. I’m pretty sure I came off as the villain, despite my best efforts.

It also didn’t help matters that the bus would be passing through Nottingham’s version of Eastbourne, whereby every street was wall-to-wall retirement homes and care centres. It became pretty clear that I was surrounded by the cast of Last of the Summer Wine. Operation: Get the Little S**t was in full flow.

I was being persecuted. I was standing trial for something and wasn’t quite sure what it was. They were like a pack of wolves. They had mobilised and, by god, were they organised. I felt helpless.

They were almost jostling for prime positions in order to get at me.

After a long, hard-fought battle, I had managed to narrowly escape with only slight bruising and with my crisp white t-shirt now an unflattering shade of blue-rinse. The damage could have been a lot worse. I felt mentally exhausted more than anything. They had really laid into me.

What stayed with me afterwards was how long they had been waiting for this opportunity. Had they just been biding their time, waiting for that poor sucker to step out of line once, so they could ambush him?

I think next time - I will just let the frostbite have my genitals.