Depression survivor "owes life to Watford General Hospital”

10:54am Thursday 18th March 2010

By Adam Binnie

A woman from Mill End, whose struggle with depression nearly ended in suicide, claims she owes her life to care received at Watford General Hospital.

Johanna Van Gorkom, of Chiltern Drive, spent more than ten years of her life on antidepressants, after three miscarriages and a premature birth as a young woman.

She was admitted to Watford General Hospital earlier this year with flu and pneumonia, spending more than a month in bed and hooked up to a life-support machine for part of that time.

After this near death experience, she has found peace and is keen to help people who find themselves in a similar position.

She said: “I felt trapped in depression, like I had no control, but I always thought I was indestructible. Being ill really changed my attitude.

“James, my son, lived for 47 hours. It was actually a positive experience, he taught me that life has a purpose and people can understand what it's like to have a baby and then lose it. They don't understand the effect of a miscarriage.

"Mental pain can catch you unawares, and whole episodes relived again and again. Mine was a life in torment, permanently vulnerable to the chance topic of others.

"I nearly committed suicide ten years ago when I was put back on antidepressants, but it was never the right time."

At her lowest ebb, the now mother of two had booked and paid for her own funeral, out of a “sense of responsibility”.

Jane Brewin, chief executive of pregnancy research charity Tommy's, said: "Most people don’t realise just how common pregnancy problems are and how much of a devastating impact they can have.

"It’s clear that more research is needed to understand how best to help mums-to-be who experience recurrent miscarriages."

“He cooks and helps out at night. It's emotional care more than anything, which is exhausting for him. He dragged me to the Chorleywood Christian Fellowship and I've got a lot of friends to support me.

“I remember when I came out of hospital I saw two of my friends looking at me with smiles and happy eyes. They'd prayed for me to survive and an answered prayer in the fellowship is something very special.

"I owe my life to the care of people in Watford General Hospital in January. I'd also like to thank the ambulance staff and the blood donor.”

"I'm fine now, a bit weak and unfit, but I'm nearly better. I don't believe suicide is an acceptable way out. Life is too precious to me now."

“To people who are finding it hard because they've lost their jobs or are returning from war, I would say keep going, don't give up.”