In the back of the Net with Oliver Phillips

Anyway, as for the four midfield players, or is it three with one in the hole, or three with one on the wing?

John Barnes is a must there. He could play left-sided midfield or wide left and apart from Tommy Harmer, is very probably the most skilful individual to grace the Watford shirt.

Harmer was a freak of almost dwarf stature who could do things with a ball very few others could even come near duplicating. After training, he used to take bets that he could put 10 balls in an empty goalmouth from the corner-flag.

He only took bets a couple of days. After that there were no more takers.

Tommy used to smoke in the dressing-room before a game and, despite his immense talent, used to shake like a leaf before a game. He used to get very cold during matches and often he used to be put in a shower at half-time, showered with hot water and then given a change of kit before going out again.

He also used to have another fag during the interval, and as often as not, a quick slug of neat whisky, to give him a boost.

You could not come across a more self-effacing talent, yet in the days of the old heavy, leather ball, that used to become heavier on damp, muddy afternoons, he would chip and bend it over the wall, years before it became the norm with the lighter, modern balls.

As for Barnesy, well his dexterity and contributions in the top flight are well-documented. He never quite made it at international level despite being the national Player of the Year. He had the ability but perhaps we, at Watford, saw just why he was never the same on the international stage as he was on the domestic scene.

When he came into a powerful and focused team in 1981 he added a further dimension to it. In the debut in the top flight, Watford again took the division by storm and again, Barnesy was a great player.

Watford had another good season, reaching the FA Cup Final but the following season they began, comparatively, to struggle. The Hornets no longer dominated as they had in the past. Mo Johnston had gone, then George Reilly and Watford did OK without pulling up any trees.

Barnesy? Well he was disappointing and subsequently, after moving to Liverpool, he had another quiet time while the Anfield outfit were rebuilding.

The impression is that Barnesey can make a good team great but not a mediocre team good. He is the icing on the cake, not one of the crucial ingredients.

After years of watching him, it became apparent that if it was touch and go if he was going to be fit and he passed a late fitness test on an injury, he would not impose himself on the game. If he was fully fit, with no injury worries, he would be an asset.

If you had Blissett's attitude and Barnes's ability, you would have a world star.

Anyway, my team is going to be a great team, so Barnesy can put the icing on the cake, turning it into a wonder team. Give him the canvas and he will express himself.

On the other side, Nigel Callaghan is an obvious contender. He had a lot going for him and it is a pity that he did not always appreciate the fact. He could have been so much more in this game, had he maintained his focus.

But I admit I have a problem here: Cliff Holton.

You cannot have an all-time Watford team without Holton in it but his essential position was an inside-forward. People believe he was the all-time striker, line-leader, etc, but it was not until he was switched to the number eight shirt, that he really clicked at Vicarage Road, playing off Dennis Uphill.

So the only place I can see Cliff playing, is in the hole, breaking onto the ball with powerful runs and shooting from outrageous distances with searing power.

One his cornerstone passes was the ball behind the full back for the winger to run onto, but he had a lot of other abilities as well. A year or so before coming to Watford, he was rated the greatest uncapped player in the country. As for his goals, well there are elements of Cliff in Johnno's shooting, because he used to score from such distances, but the goal that really reminded me of the Big Fella this season, was Jason Lee's against Wycombe.

But Cliff was not a worker. He had pace for a big man, he had vision, but he was not one to tackle back, and neither was Barnesy to be fair. So we need a couple of anchor men in midfield, the engine room, feeding the ball to the others. If one went for individual ability, then a midfield of Craig Ramage or Keith Eddy or Dennis Bond, Holton in the hole, and Barnesy would have you drooling, but once you lost the ball, you would be in trouble against the most mundane of sides.

So I would go for the two most successful midfielders in the history of the club; two men whose work was totally unseen by the likes of Jeff Powell, Terry Venables et al: Kenny Jackett and Les Taylor.

They worked so hard and so effectively and I am going for balance here.

So I go for a midfield of Taylor and Jackett anchoring it down and doing the donkey-work.

Les and Kenny were known as the "invisible men" during the halcyon era at Vicarage Road, because no one gave them credit. It was Luther and Ross, or George and Mo, along with Barnesy and Cally, and the two boys beavering away, commuting from box to box, went unnoticed.

Watford were "a long-ball side", so it would be impractical for the Hornets' critics to admit to a midfield of industry and essential link-work. Taylor won the Player of the Season at the time Watford were being labelled a biff-bang outfit.

Kenny Jackett had more ability than Les and I am not sure that he pushed himself to the very most to really assert himself as much as he could have. I am not saying that he did not try, because you had to work very hard in that midfield, but I just felt he had the ability to have imposed himself and caught the eye even more than he did.

Les Taylor scampered all over the shop. His manager described him as a "sniffer and ratter" when he first signed, and, for me, Les was the football equivalent of a pest. He never let the opposition alone: there was no such thing as easy, comfortable possession against Les.

I recall Graham Turner, when manager at Villa Park, remarking that Steve McMahon was sitting in the dressing-room having marked Les for 90 minutes. "Steve reckons Les Taylor is bionic," said Turner. "He just never stops running."

So there we have it, a midfield of Taylor, Jackett and Barnes with Holton in the hole.

That leaves me with two strikers and five substitutes to chose to complete the dream team, next week.

I have kept abreast of the WML but I cannot really comment on 3CR coverage because I never hear it, being at the games myself.

What I do know, having stumbled through giving on-air match reports over the years when Chiltern Radio was a local station, that I am full of admiration for the ability of the likes of David Croft and Mike Vince, to project excitement yet also maintain a credible flow of pertinent information.

I recall the 1991 match at Oxford when the Hornets, courtesy of a Paul Wilkinson goal, secured the victory to obtain safety from relegation.

Sat in the Pressbox, we knew that Watford had won but the other results had not come through. Mike Vince, in the studio at Chiltern did not know, so I had to give the details of this significant victory without knowing quite how significant it was.

For some reason, I decided to announce Watford's success and give details in my dramatic best, which came over as somewhat funereal. "The cortege moves down The Mall as the massed bands of the Royal Marines dip their colours" sort of tone.

Halfway through I realised the reason for this deliberate approach. I wanted to win enough time to determine the other results and be able to say whether Watford were safe or not.

Eventually I spotted Nigel Gibbs racing over to some fans, who obviously were listening to the results on their radios. As the news of the other results was relayed to him and the roar spread along the Watford terrace, Gibbo ran back to tell his colleagues. They immediately embarked on renewed celebration.

So I took the gamble and told the listeners that news that Watford had survived had come through and even managed to inject enough extra pace for it to sound like "the funeral cortege is passing Buckingham Palace at a trot".

I was quite pleased when I put the phone down, having managed to relay the events without a stumble, but it was not until later when hearing people excitedly informing the public of their team's promotion or relegation, that I realised I had played it all wrong.

The best comment I heard, albeit quite often, when people mentioned my stints on radio was "At least you know what you're talking about".

It was the "at least" bit that left so much unsaid.

Apparently someone was inquiring on WML, whether I still wore a "comedy brown hat". Well I have blue ones and green ones and one brown one. Whether they are "comedy" or not is down to opinion but I will still be wearing "it" through until warmer times: along the lines of not casting a clout until May is out.

The other old maxim about if you want to get ahead, wear a hat, has not proved true for me. I'm still covering Watford, some 34 years later, but I am hoping that they will ge ahead and take me with them, into the top flight.

I dont know where the "Lord OP" sobriquet came from but apparently someone at the WML bash, wanted to have a go at me about being a hi-fi anorak. Well I'm not. I was at one stage but I stopped. I didn't have to attend Hi Fi Anonymous, I just had to give it up around 1980 because I could not afford it.

A rock-pop-country-folk anorak I may be, but I have had the same sound-system for eight years now.

And contrary to WFC belief, I do not play Z-Cars on it.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.