The Icelandic volcano has resulted in a few faces being on the missing list this week.

Colin has been forced to spend another week in Tenerife, Lord Chelmswood is stuck sunning himself on a rugby tour in Marbella and Steve, our Quizmaster, has very inconsiderately stranded himself in Washington when he should be here on duty tonight !

On the other hand we`ve a few still with us, who`d rather not be still with us including George who was mournfully munching on a cheese & pickle sandwich at lunchtime when he should have been halfway to Turkey.

Fortunately our politicians have taken time out from kissing babies on doorsteps to help sort out the travel fiasco and I can summarise what I`ve listened to on BBC Radio 2 News this afternoon

Spain and in particular Madrid will act as a hub airport as it is currently ash free.

180 coaches have been sent from the UK to collect stranded Brits but the Foreign Office were unable to comment as to the actual destination of the coaches or where they actually were at that moment in time.

This of course could be a precaution to deter would be coach hijackers.

30 minutes later it was clarified that the coaches are intended for those who are travelling into Madrid on flights from outside Europe.

A further half hour later and The Foreign Office advised those stranded inside Europe ( I think that does actually include Spain ) not to head for Madrid but to head for the channel ports.

To this I might add be careful on the way as you might encounter the hijackers who missed out on the convoy of 180 coaches that were heading the other way.

Whilst all this confusion reigns I`ve been thinking of ways of benefiting from it and today the answer came to me in a blinding flash whilst trundling my trolley around Costco.

Pineapples.

With planes unable to fly for over a week there will soon be shortages of produce and where there is a shortage demand will soon follow.

So I bought every pineapple there was in Costco and all I need to do now is sit and watch as the price rises and then I`ll corner the market

Easy when you know how