Pssst! I'm a secret mocktail drinker

So they send along these secret shoppers with a budget and a very lengthy and exacting tick-list. They express an interest in a product, seek information and finally buy it and then mark the shop or store on the basis of service and efficiency.

So, one Friday night, Ellie and I were invited to join my daughter and her husband along with the secret drinker, at a bar-restaurant in The Madenat, which happens to be my favourite venue in Dubai.

Designed on the Venice-ancient Arabian concept, it is close to the famous Dubai hotel. The complex is modern yet on a traditional style with souks, restaurants and bars as well as a hotel, accessible by water-transport.

We went for a tour of the hotel complex a few years back and if I ever win the lottery I have earmarked that for a stay. I quite fancy coming down from the room and hailing a water taxi across to a particular restaurant.

I forget what our budget was, but five of us attended the bar, sitting outside in the evening. We each had a couple of drinks and a hot Italian-based snack as it was an Italian restaurant complex.

For the record, Indians comprise the largest number of people in Dubai: they do the work, brought in on fixed-term contracts. So you can go to a Thai, Chinese, Italian, Argentine, or whatever type of restaurant you prefer, and almost invariably you will be served by Indians.

At one stage someone in the party bit into something hard, questioned the waiter and the plate was taken away. A couple of minutes later the waiter returned apologising and offering a free meal by way of making amends. A new dish was chosen and then the restaurant manager came over and apologised personally.

Having undertaken restaurant reviews before in my days on the Watford Observer, I was suitably impressed by the service and the way they dealt with the justified complaint.

They did, however, receive a black mark for the fact a crisp was on the six-foot square table when we arrived and was not removed during our visit.

Did the waiter, if otherwise engaged, acknowledge our arrival? Were we attended to within three minutes of taking our seats? Did we receive the offer of fresh drinks within three minutes of completing our last drink? Were the plates cleared away within three minutes of our finishing? Did the waiter attempt to up-sell – persuade you to attempt a more expensive dish or drink?

There were so many boxes to tick.

Three days later we attended a pool bar at one of the most expensive hotels on the strip. Our budget was £27 per head at the bar with the admission £15 each paid for in advance.

The service was excellent. As Dubai is essentially Muslim, alcohol is available to Europeans, but not readily available to the shopper. Your standard bottle of red wine will cost you around £14 through connections, but you may pay over £20 at a restaurant.

However the Emirate hosts are extremely skilful at producing soft drinks: mango, mint and lemon etc, served in long glasses. They also mix in chillies in some of these “mocktails”, and also in cakes and ice-cream, giving them an extra and interesting bite.

The long drinks were served and the waiters passed another one of the boxes, in that their inter-action with, and interest in, the customers seemed genuine. There was only one black mark that we noted: I was served first with the menu and the food and drinks.

I did point out that the two waiters were obviously Asian as opposed to Indian and in their culture, age is revered, so as the eldest, I deserved the treatment.

The poolside facilities, the provision of towels and the offers to fetch drinks etc was good but we noted one box we were unable to tick: no one came along and offered to clean our sunglasses during the three hours we lingered in and by the pool.

Not something you notice from the average deck-chair attendant at Skegness or even on the beach at Spain, but apparently that failure would earn retribution.

Ironically, we returned to that hotel a few nights later, to sample their cocktails and mocktails. The service was indifferent, the music too loud and generally unimpressive. Out of them all, I preferred the one where they considerately left the last visitor’s crisp on the table, which was the cheapest of the lot.

One other point with regard to the last bar we visited, it was 24 floors up and if you cared to lean over the balcony you could see right down to reception below. So I am told.

I passed.

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here