Runnin On Empty-Three Fingers, No Thumb?

I’m sure most of you have experienced those days where you take the milk out of the fridge to make a cuppa and then find yourself about to put it back in the cupboard?  Feel a bit silly?  Hopefully those days are few and far between? But for someone with M.E it’s often a daily occurrence and just one of numerous frustrating symptoms to deal with.

So cue my first mishap, while trying to prepare lunch, instead of holding the carrot at the bottom and slicing the top, I held it at the top and sliced straight through my thumb…Ouch!

Second mishap, while dunking a malted milk biscuit, I placed it in my mouth but forgot to remove my fingers before biting down and bit straight through two fingers ….Ouch!

Third mishap, while sitting on the floor using a bladed gadget to slice open a box, I roughly slid it behind my ear just as you would a pen, at which point I gasped and held my breath at the realisation that from the stinging sensation emanating from the side of my head I’d just done a Van Gogh, quickly followed by the positive thought that from a music marketing point of view it could work quite well…. how many other rappers do you know with one ear huh?  Followed by the second bonus that my mother would only be able to nag into one ear instead of the usual two…result.

Finally plucking up the courage to have a feel, I must admit I was relieved to find my ear was still attached to my head, but by doing so I knocked the bladed gadget out, which immediately tumbled down and impaled itself into my other hand…Ouch!

I was starting to regret not purchasing a bigger box of plasters as it was looking unlikely I’d have enough to last the week.

Having so many brain fog moments can leave you feeling quite grumpy & intolerant as a result, the mishaps seem so silly and avoidable under normal circumstances, but these aren’t normal circumstances, we’re at the mercy of ME and all it has to throw.

I was hoping a mid-week treat of  a cooked breakfast at the Harvester would lift spirits  until I gave the waiter an order of poached egg on toast. He looked up from his notepad and stepped back “ooh…. sorry, we can’t actually put the egg on the toast” 

As a stickler for good common sense customer service, this was like a red rag to a bull but I tried to control my flaring nostrils as to not cause a scene and embarrass the two people with me.

So I  put on my  “What you talkin bout Willis?”  type face,  before repeating very slowly   “You.. cant …put… a… poached… egg.. on… a.. piece.. of… toast?”

He shook his head “The toasters behind you so you make your own toast. We haven’t got toasting facilities in the kitchen, so we can only put the eggs on a plate”

There was a long pause …. I was considering whether to gather up the staff for a team training session where I could show them how to overcome this complex situation. After all, the toaster was less than 20ft behind me and the serving hatch less than 20ft to my side, if a member of staff walked to the toaster & took a piece of toast back to the serving hatch  the chef could pop the egg on the toast? 

I know, clever stuff, you’re thinking I should be on Dragons Den huh?

The only thing to save this week has been the lingering joy of Watfords impressive 5-.0 Win over Charlton last Saturday & Watford Ladies 2-1 win over Lewes On Sunday. Come on you ‘orns, more of that please.

So you’ve heard about my week, now it’s over to you, If you’d like to share your own madness & mishaps then leave a comment and I’ll enjoy reading them as always.

                                     Til Next Week, Stay Blessed      

                                          Back Before Elvis XXX

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