I really didn’t want to write this weeks Column , but my sister, ever the professional would’ve taken a moments pause then pulled a face and told me to get on with it, so here we are. It only seems like yesterday that I was sharing with you the devastating news that due to a bout of depression my brother Michael had taken his own life, in fact it was May 6th . Since the funeral, we’ve all been trying to catch our breath, to make sense of something that seems to make no sense at all, but none of us could’ve ever imagined that our grief was about to double ………. 
Just 10 short weeks ago my beautiful big sister Michele Milliken (hart) was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer & it was terminal. It floored her so quickly & cruelly there was no time for the chemo that would’ve helped to give her a little longer, no time for bucket lists or ticking off wishes. It also floored us, her family & friends and the many people who knew & loved this strong, vibrant woman. Earlier this week on the morning of Wednesday 21st October she took her last breath, but as a lifelong devoted Christian believed she was going back home to her father god & I hope it was at least one wish granted. I also hope our big brother came to hold her hand. 
From childhood to adulthood whenever I spoke about Michele, I did so with pride and with the words Amazing & Good Girl often in the same sentence, because that’s just what she was. The same words that came from all who met her, including her teachers from infants to seniors, hence she always made it to prefect. You could always find her in our house sat at the kitchen table doing her homework whilst listening to the likes of Kate Bush & Supertramp playing from the tape recorder she balanced on top of the fridge. I’d go off in the evening to the Leggatts school youth club and come back to find her still sitting there working away, often til the early hours, she believed anything was possible but you had to work hard for it.
We were all so excited when at the age of about 12 she was spotted by a talent scout & made her acting debut in “How Green Was My Valley” with Gwen Watford at the Watford Palace Theatre, again the pride of seeing her up there on the stage was immeasurable. She was funny, creative, clever and sensible all rolled into one, and for that reason decided to settle on a more stable career in advertising.
The local art college only had 15 places & 300 applicants vying for them , & while she was anxious about her chances, those of us who knew her knew without a shadow of a doubt she’d get a place and sure enough she did.
As sisters we were chalk & cheese, people often shortened the name Michele to Shell, so it was no surprise my nickname for her throughout our lives was Smell, just because it rhymed , it’s what a naughty little sister would do, and she couldn’t help but laugh & she nicknamed me ScrappyDoo after the naughty little pup & nephew of Scooby Doo. She always played by the rules and believed in doing everything properly & I questioned everything and believed in breaking the boundaries. Growing up we always had each other’s back, when faced with confrontation she’d defend me with an air of authority and just the right words that seemed to disable any offender & I’d defend her but with rolled up sleeves, fists and kicks in delicate places. But it didn’t matter, throughout it all; the thread that bound us was one of love. 
On a visit to her home in Sheffield shortly after she was diagnosed, we sat holding hands just as we’d done as children & I asked her if she was angry? And she replied “Stacy, he (god) says Give us this day our daily bread…..This day, not a week, not a month or a year, he said “Give us this day” this day is all we can be sure of, and this day is right here”
A wise explanation from a wise inspirational woman that should remind us all of the fragility of life, we often tick along so complacent as though we have forever, we take life for granted, our loved ones for granted, put things off til tomorrow …but in reality all we can be sure of is this day.
Michele had such a good heart & beautiful light, it just shone from her, there wasn’t a day when she didn’t touch somebodys life. She had a large church family that she often spoke about & with a great sense of humour would don a frock and curly wig and take to the platform as Blodwin the Welsh Secretary …seems the acting gene never left her. Her children absolutely adored her as did her husband and step children, as did we all.
Even though she had been brutally ravaged by the Cancer at the end & was heartbreakingly frail and having trouble swallowing, she still insisted on feeding herself, I honestly don’t know how she did it, as we sat around her bed holding back tears, a massive pride swelled in my chest & the words Amazing & Good girl were right there again, I should’ve known she was never just going to give up.
There are too many people to thank but I want to give a special mention to her best friend of over thirty years, Sue, who slept at the hospice for the duration, & helped her retain control and dignity right up to the end.
To her husband and children for loving her and making her happy and especially for doing her so proud in handling these past ten weeks, weeks that would’ve quite rightly broken the strongest, & lastly to all the staff at St Lukes Hospice in Sheffield, we really couldn’t have wished for a more caring compassionate team of people to take care of Michele , bless you.
Right now the pain feels unbearable, her love, her light, her presence has and will continue to leave a huge crater in our lifes & our hearts. But hopefully in time, we can take all Micheles goodness and continue to touch others lives with it, just as she did ours.
Reluctantly moving on with the usual sections, This weeks Gizmo/Gadget/Gift of the week is the BIG push lamp, resembling a giant lightbulb you just….well…. push down …..that’s how you turn it on & off, great novelty lamp to have in any room and also in a sale at £6.95 from Prezzybox …you want one don’t you? http://www.prezzybox.com/push-lamp.aspx#Description
Onto M.E news, and I think you’d agree that when it comes to quality of life most of us are of the mind-set that the worst diseases to have are the one’s we’re most used to hearing about Cancer, Heart disease, MS, Stroke Arthritis etc ? But it seems not, what if I was to tell you that in a recent study carried out by a Danish research group ME/CFS came out top. It was done by comparing quality of life scores of people with ME/CFS with people who had other serious medical disorders
Whatever your thoughts are on the study, there’s no denying that it’s yet another step in the right direction, and reaffirms that every day more people are becoming educated to the fact that M.E is a serious chronic condition. For those who’ve suffered years of abuse, ignorance, & prejudice & for those no longer here, may the tide keep turning.
To read about the study in full: http://www.cortjohnson.org/blog/2015/08/05/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-worse-mulitple-sclerosis-cancer/
However, staying in Danish Borders, M.E sufferer Karina Hansen is still being held against her will after being forcibly removed from her home by police & hospitalized in 2013 . Karina’s case has been shrouded in cloak & dagger from the start, it seems the hospital took over power, taking the guardianship away from her parents and handing it to the police who seized her in the first place. Karina is still not allowed visitors, 2yrs 7months after her incarceration; this has been decided by the psychiatrists who refused to acknowledge her diagnosis of M.E even though it came was from recognised specialists. Karina had no mental disorder and was no danger to herself or anyone else, she has M.E…..The case rages on and the M.E community continue to show support and will not give up until Karina is freed back into the arms of her parents and treated for the chronic physical condition that she has…M.E. Thanks to the “Justice For Karina Hansen” Facebook page you can read the latest full transcript here: https://www.facebook.com/JusticeForKarinaHansen
On to the local scene and a recommended place if you haven’t tried it already, Gokula Vegetarian café in Market Street , a wonderful little place that seems far from the madding crowd in terms of the main high street and yet just a stones throw away. Relaxing atmosphere , warm friendly staff, there’s something uplifting about Gokula, not to mention the most delicious apple crumble I’ve ever tasted and don’t even get me started on the cheesecake. Oh & don’t forget the Accoustic line up at The Flag This Saturday afternoon starting at 2.00, It’s a free event, so I’m hoping to hide in the corner somewhere with an ice cold beer and write up a little review of the acts for next weeks column, hope to see you down there.
Til Next Week, Stay Blessed
Back Before Elvis x
https://www.facebook.com/RunninOnEmptee1
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