Are we being mugged off? (From Watford Observer)

Are we being mugged off?

11:54am Friday 24th April 2009

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I like Easter, I like it a lot. It has a lot of the good parts of Christmas (time off work, seasonal food, rubbish television) without a lot of the bad parts of Christmas (too much time of work, possibility of strangling one of your relatives, rubbish television).

Plus at Easter, you get Easter eggs.

Now, the days of this diarist getting several Easter eggs to spread evenly around his face are sadly confined to history.

So this year, I had to settle for just the one egg to spread evenly around my face (boom boom).

But my my my, what an egg it was.

A spectacular number from Cadbury, it had a delicious chocolate egg miraculously hidden inside another delicious chocolate egg.

The egg that kept on giving, inside the smaller egg I discovered three delectable truffles ready to add at least an inch to my wavering waistband.

Forgive me for moaning, but it did lack one vital ingredient.

A mug.

Whatever happened to getting a mug with your Easter egg?

Perhaps like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Thundercats and jeans with cartoon pictures on the front, Easter egg mugs will forever be consigned to my childhood.

Perhaps they went the same way as Woolworths. Who knows.

If someone could tell me where to find an egg with a mug I would love to know, because I have been waiting for several years now to add to my collection of Smarties, Crunchie and Cadbury chocolate buttons.

There are inventions history will undoubtedly look back upon and conclude they improved peoples' lives the world over.

The wheel, for example.

Penicillin.

The internet.

Mötley Crüe’s 1989 rock album Dr Feelgood.

Then, there are inventions that seem to have been invented for no discernible reason other than for the sake of being invented.

I am, for those wondering where this is headed, referring to a story written by my colleague, Paola Dellafiora, who last week reported on a budding Kings Langley inventor.

The story (in case you swapped your weekly thumbing of the WO for some extra time with your mugless Easter eggs) concerned local entrepreneur, Giles Bury, who is aiming to get Dragons' Den backing for his business, qwikgoal.com.

His invention basically involves a rucksack, in which two portable goalposts can be easily transported by any amateur footballer and then erected in the park to create a makeshift goal.

And may I be the first to wish Mr Bury the very best of luck.

However, I for one will not be buying your invention.

You see I am a bit of a traditionalist and I will forever champion the merits of the true goalpost – the warm, snugly friend of footballers the country over – the dependable jumper.

For centuries the jumper has proved a more than capable substitute for a real crossbar and net.

So why spend £19.99 on something that will tear away the fabric of a park kick around?

Kids, listen to your trusted local journalist.

Save your pennies.

And if you are short of a goalpost or four, get down to Primark.

I reckon you’ll be able to buy a couple of goalposts for less than £19.99 and even have enough change to pick up a couple of half time oranges from the market.

Which brings me on to my next nostalgic pining – whatever happened to half-time oranges...?

And finally, I would like to thank Tim Bracey, of Harford Drive, for sending this rather amusing photograph to me.

As you can see, after the county council's worker ants painstakingly laid new tarmac on the road surface of Shepherds Road, the road painting team truly exceeded themselves with this spectacular display of taking pride in a job.

So to round this week’s fun off, I have attempted to come up a couple of explanations for this bodge of all bodges.

“Don’t blame me...they only told me to do the marking for the new tarmac.”

“Sorry gov, but it was 5.28pm, my missus had done a spag bol, and she told me it was going to be on the table by 6pm. I didn’t think anyone would notice?”

Or perhaps: “There’s a credit crunch on, you know? Paint is a luxury we simply cannot afford.”

If you can do better (and I am sure you most definitely can) please feel free to send your answers to if-there’s-a-job-worth-doing@watfordobserver.co.uk.

See you next week.