How many times do you have to say I don't want PPI calls

I was quickly disillusioned.

“Mr Phillips,” came the distinctly English voice. “We are contacting you about Payment Protection Insurance.”

Having an English mobile - the French pay-as-you go wipe the credit if you don’t use your mobile for a month – is OK. I do not use the mobile much apart from when on holiday, often in the UK.

These PPI parasites are another thing altogether. They phone me and perhaps I am too late reaching or finding my mobile. The call ends before I get to it so I ring the caller back only to discover it is as PPI call. That has cost me 50p for nothing.

On other occasions I get to the phone in time and receive a recorded message about PPI – not an individual speaking to whom I can advise to the advantages of sex and travel.

I had so many of these at one stage, I texted back when one of them left a message saying I was owed £11,000. Of course I knew it was baloney. I would have to have quite a large loan to pay £11,000 on PPI, but I texted them anyway.

They duly phoned back and asked me if I had taken out any loans in the last few years. I replied to the effect that they must know the answer to that.

“How is that sir?” he asked.

“Because you know I am owed £11,000,” I replied. “I have just been informed by your text.”

That brought the conversation to a swift halt.

Similarly I brought it to a speedy conclusion when another firm phoned me in the hospital just before the operation.

It is quite amazing how many people are plagued by these calls but there is clearly money in it. They make all these calls, pay for blanket advertising on television, promise no-win-no-fee guarantees, and leave you wondering what sort of percentage they take on the deal if you are owed money back from the banks.

An unhealthily large share of television advertising is on parasite services, comparing insurances, markets, or easing your problems with competitive interest rates. Then there is the compensation culture, advertised repeatedly.

Or there is the quick fix loan to tide you over, offered by so many firms. I wonder at the amount of customers these people rope in. Yes it must be tough in the UK, but surely opting to borrow from a firm that must pay vast fees for their advertising campaigns, is foolish. How do they think the advertising is funded: by the punter in interest rates of course.

I mused on this as I lay on the trolley in the operating theatre, my numb arm out on one side and the other arm on a special rest while the fluid dripped into my wrist. They had injected me into my shoulder and I could not feel a thing.

I could not see anything either. When I had a local anaesthetic for the same operation in the UK, I turned away from operation. But in France a sheet was drawn over me and fixed by a clip to the drip-stand. I was unable to watch the operation if I wanted to.

I felt a vague jerking and then the sheet was taken away and I was surprised to be told it was over. I thought they were still setting things up.

The arm remained numb for some six hours before feeling gradually returned. By then I was home, watching telly and swallowing the odd proscribed preventative pain killer in anticipation of a bad night when the anaesthetic wore off.

In fact I slept right through and awoke slowly. Ellie came out of the bathroom and promptly asked me how was my hand.

I turned and looked at it in astonishment. I had forgotten all about it. I had not felt any pain. Later that day, I stopped taking pain killers. My left hand did not work so well, so I left the ‘t’ off type in the final line of my last blog.

In fact I took the dogs out for a walk, driving up to the nearby woods and it was not until halfway through that I reminded myself I was driving. I took things easy after then. I did not want to over-work the wrist or hand.

My previous experience with a longer incision for a carpal tunnel operation was quite painful for a week or so.

This time round, with keyhole surgery, I didn’t feel very much at all. After I had stopped taking the pain killers after 24 hours I waited. No pain, but I hope there is gain. If it was not for the heavy bandage that remains on the wrist for a fortnight, I could more..

There is one disturbing thing however. A week after my operation two fingers and a thumb are still numb.

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