The French love their paperwork but in our case it obscured their ability to get a simple job done

With this in mind, we were somewhat anxious when we decided it was about time we transferred our bank account from the village in Limousin, close to our former home, to the bank some 40 yards across the street from where we live now. Both banks share the same name: Credit Agricole. However they share little else.

I can pop over the road and use the cash dispenser and withdraw cash from my account in Limousin, but if I want to put cash or cheques into that account, I have to travel the 340 kilometres north and place the money over the counter, or send it. They cannot transfer it from the branch over the road, here in the Tarn.

Each area of Credit Agricole seems to be autonomous. We are now in the Mid-Pyrenees section whereas we used to be in Centre France. The latter had one notable advantage. They have an English-speaking service so you could phone them up, obtain advice and arrange various activities in English.

I phoned them in February and explained I wanted to close my account in Limousin and send all the monies from our current and savings accounts to our bank over the road in St Amans-Soult.

“Easy,” the operative told me. “Go over to your local bank and fill in a form.”

We had already opened an account locally, so we thought it would be a simple matter of signing it over. We informed the agent who handles our investment income from all the insurance companies and he confirmed there would be little or no bother organising the monthly monies to be paid into our local account.

We went over to sign the form having been given a time and date for a rendezvous. They had suggested March 18, but we countered that would be a little late to turn things round by the 31st. So we attended our appointment in early March prepared to sign the form...and this form....and this...and initial this, and this and this.

So it went on and it is times such as these you notice how your signature varies when you sign up to 20 times, passing each page to Ellie for her signature endorsement.

Never having changed a bank branch before I do not know the procedure in the UK, but apparently the French banks have to advise all those with direct debit access of the change. So we had to provide the names of all those who wished to take out monthly or quarterly payments from our account, including those we had already informed of the change and had acknowledged receipt.

They also wished to know the code numbers for their withdrawals. We pointed out their branch in Limousin would have those.

“Oh they won’t tell us. We will have to get the numbers from your account,” we were told.

We helped them access our account on line and they printed the account details off for the last couple of months. They are wary of money laundering in France, so they asked us who paid these sums in every month and required the agent’s number.

I pointed out this had been going on for almost nine years every month but of course they could not contact Limousin: it is a foreign country.

We were told all was well but when was the next money coming in to the account to cover the direct debits? We said that would come in during April. But what would happen if one came in on April 1?

“Well,” I said naively, several times, “we have money in our Limousin accounts and that would be transferred on April 1 as requested.”

So the weeks went by and just because I know nothing in France is simple, I popped into the bank and asked if all was on course for our money to be transferred over on April 1. I was given an appointment on the Thursday and upon our arrival, we were given another form to sign.

There was more concern as to when our April credit would arrive and again I stressed that there was no worry as I had enough money in our accounts being transferred over the following Tuesday April 1.

It transpires, when you transfer your account, the bank with the new account, sends all your forms off to the old bank branch for them to check and presumably stack in a vast warehouse along with all the other paper work.

Once that is received then you send them another form, asking them to transfer the money to the new account.

This should have been sent in early March but somewhere along the line it was overlooked by the bank clerk. So when I popped in casually to check if all was well, it was not. That is why she worried about when our insurance money would be due.

We signed the extra form on the Thursday and the branch in Limousin received it on April 1, telling them to have the money in our account by April 1. That proved hard for Limousin, understandably.

When I went over the road, they were expressing concern about the April credit coming in. I told them I had arranged and signed forms requesting the money to be transferred on April 1. They had agreed, I had signed the forms and if they had forgotten to get us to sign a second form, it was down to them.

If they wanted money in my account, I suggested they approached the United Nations and perhaps they might be able to negotiate with the foreigners of Credit Agricole, Limousin, to transfer the money to Credit Agricole, Midi-Pyrenees.

But then again, the UN might not have the requisite forms.

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