So what have we learnt from a Watford Observer poll that asked: Who would you vote for in Watford if the General Election was today?

The ballot was included in a piece, published on Wednesday, containing 200-word statements from the prospective parliamentary candidates and what they would do for Watford if they won in May.

1. The Liberal Democrats took our un-scientific poll and tweeted the results to anyone that would read about it, as they claimed it was proof they would stroll to victory in May. Yet the group failed to broadcast that [potentially] organising a digital flashmob and voting 146 times for Dorothy Thornhill from a single computer was perhaps not a genuine reflection of Watford’s voting public.

2. Judging from feedback in the newsroom, Labour appear to be the most sensitive party standing in Watford but they quite rightly pointed out the fact that anyone can own a computer and vote as many times as they like on a website. What started merely as a jovial ballot has been treated, in the red corner at least, as an official poll on which the entire General Election hinges. Despite crying wolf, that didn’t stop eight unique browsers voting 479 times for Matt Turmaine. Awkward.

3. Despite other parties wrangling over the mechanics of our ballot or claiming the result was a huge, campaign-changing victory on social media, the Conservatives have said nothing - seemingly content with finishing second. Maybe they were trying to fly under the radar in hope the eight computers that voted for Richard Harrington 449 times wouldn’t be noticed by anyone?

4. It appears UKIP are very fond of its prospective parliamentary candidate Nick Lincoln, particularly one IP address that voted a staggering 189 times for him in our poll. UKIP has advocated tighter border control to reduce the pressure on the NHS but supporters appear to have no problem clogging up the WO’s servers.

Watford Observer: WO fun poll 2(1)

5. Based on our readjusted #DirtyTricks polling results above, Watford is turning green based on the fact the Green Party has the most honest supporters with the highest ratio of individual votes to unique browsers (39 votes from 38 computers – 1.02 votes per browser). Expect the proposed Watford Health Campus and new homes to be scrapped in favour of more allotments...

Watford Observer: Wo bulldozer 2

6. And, in a fresh WO ballot, it transpires that 99 percent of Watford politicians are looking at every poll in a bid to grab the tiniest of advantages in what promises to be a tight General Election race. Meanwhile, just one percent of readers really care about the results of an online ballot run alongside one of our stories.

[Disclaimer: The poll below was also far from scientific in this completely satirical piece.]

Watford Observer: Wo fun poll 2