A writer in the May number of “The Sunday at Home” cites an amusing example of the ambiguities that lie hidden in our English tongue.

A lady wrote to an army officer as follows: “Mrs Smythe requests the pleasure of Capt Bunker’s company at dinner.”

The next day she received this note: “With the exception of three men who have the measles and one who is confined to barracks. Capt Bunker’s company accepts Mrs Smythe’s kind invitation with pleasure.”

[From the Watford Observer of May 17, 1919]

 

‘I  fell off my bike.’ ‘Were you drunk?’ ‘I must have been, otherwise I would not have fallen off my bike’.

This was the exchange at Watford Magistrates Court on Tuesday, when WHF, 31, of Judge Street, Watford, was fined 5s. for being drunk and incapable at Bushey on Friday.

[From the Watford Observer of May 30, 1952]

 

We have pleasure in recording an admirable act of courage on the part of two members of the Watford Parish Church Junior Guild.

On Sunday evening near Cassio Bridge, one of their number, William Emmerton, had the misfortune to fall into a lock of the Grand Junction Canal.

Arthur Phillips jumped into the water and attempted to rescue as Emmerton could not swim, but did not succeed in bringing his friend to a place of safety.
Both were in danger when another of the party, George Weekes, made a determined effort, and by skill in swimming with the feet, kept his two friends afloat, guiding them to the edge of the lock where they were assisted out of the water.

[From the Watford Observer of May 24, 1902]

 

Thieves who took a parked car from North Watford on Thursday and stole its radio and road tax disc missed the real booty.

The owner found his vehicle missing when he returned to his parking place near Waitrose supermarket.

It was discovered abandoned in Copsewood Road, Watford, with the radio and disc missing. Then the worried owner, accompanied by CID officers, anxiously opened up the boot, where he had locked away £1,700 in cash.

He breathed a deep sigh of relief – the cache was intact.

For security reasons his name was not released by police.

[From the Watford Observer of May 10, 1968]

NOSTALGIA NOTE: According to thisismoney.co.uk, £1,700 in 1968 would equate to something like £25,000 today.

 

So great was the motor traffic at Rickmansworth on the Bank Holiday that the traffic signals were dispensed with for the day and police were stationed at the main turnings to regulate what appeared to be an endless stream of cars.

[From the Watford Observer of May 26, 1934]