If there’s one thing that often doesn’t stand the test of time, it’s humour. Not entirely true, of course – some old jokes still have the ability to raise a smile. But by and large, while Queen Victoria was famously “not amused” very often, neither, it seems, were her subjects – in Watford at least.
Back in 1880, the Watford Observer published a list of more than 100 conundrums to amuse at Christmas.
One hundred years later they were reprinted, in the paper of December 26, 1980, with the claim that “they are almost dateless with a freshness that is unexpected”.
Some of them don’t hit the spot. Others I didn’t actually understand (“When is a lunatic like a flower?” The answer, apparently: “When he is a little dazey.”)
Anyway, here are 15 of my favourites. I've put the answers in italics after each one. Hope they raise at least a small smile. They did with me.
1. What pupil is most to be pitied? The pupil of the eye, because it is always under the lash.
2. Why is a person who never lays a wager as bad as a confirmed gambler? Because he is no better.
3. Why is a retired carpenter like a lecturer? Because he is an ex-plainer.
4. Why are seeds, when sown, like gate posts? Because they are set in the earth to propagate (prop-a-gate).
5. Why is a boy having his ears boxed like a criminal in manacles? Because he is hand cuffed.
6. What is the difference between stabbing a man and killing a hog? One is assaulting with intent to kill, the other is killing with intent to salt.
7. Why are fishermen and shepherds like beggars? Because they live by hook and by crook.
8. Why is Canada like courtship? Because it borders on a united state.
9. When are eyes not eyes? When the wind makes them water.
10. How much does a fool weigh? A simple ton.
11. Why is a sailor like a teetotaller? Both live on water.
12. What is the difference between a young lady and her nightcap? One is born to wed, the other worn to bed.
13. Who was the greatest peer England ever produced? Shakes-peer
14. If a woman changed sex, why could she no longer be a Christian? Because she'd be a he then (heathen).
15. What is the best way to get out of a scrape? Let your beard grow.
Happy New Year!
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