LAST time I checked there were no manacles, thumbscrews, racks or red hot pokers lining the walls of the banqueting hall in the City Chambers.

So I guess they must be brought out for special occasions: like licensing board meetings.

Not that inquisitor-general (his real title is convener but you get the drift) Gordon Macdiarmid needs any kind of object, blunt or sharp, to get his message across.

Licensees Miriam and Imran Afzal of Flames takeaway and off-sales in Possilpark appeared before the board a few days ago for what should have been a pretty straightforward renewal of their off-sales certificate.

Except there was a hiccup, triggered by that most potent and controversial alcoholic concoction, Buckfast; the demon of the drinking age - although anyone at the meeting would have been hard-pushed to hear the brand mentioned by name.

Buckfast, it seems has the same effect on licensing boards as Macbeth on actors. Few dare let it pass their lips.

They would most likely get their backsides sued off by the distributors.

According to police, a 16-year-old found with three bottles in his possession, no mention of him drinking the stuff mind, claimed to have bought it using Flames' delivery service.

But boards don't so much weigh evidence as listen to reports.

No sign of the 16-year-old, then, to deliver testimony.

In any case, such legal niceties are for courts, not quasi-judicial bodies manned by 20 councillors-cum-amateur judges and operating under the guidance of a clerk.

If the first rule of confrontation is that there aren't any rules, Mr Macdiarmid, in this instance, lived up to it: "Your clients are aware of the particular range of product the board does not like to see sold?"

When told by the Afzal's lawyer the drink would no longer be delivered he pressed on: "Only no longer delivered?"

A quizzical little remark with a sub-text flashed in neon letters.

Needless to say the Afzals, with a chunk of their livelihood teetering on the edge and business under threat, gave the reply Mr Macdiarmid wanted.

Despite its reputation, Buckfast is neither a banned substance, nor especially cheap, even if it has a reputation for a hard and fast alcoholic hit.

IT is, like alcopops and superlagers of old, a scapegoat for uncontrolled drinking and violence: blame the knife instead of the person carrying it.

But if binge drinking is a problem, an uncontrolled licensing board able to make rules up on the hoof could be every bit as dangerous.

The board was forced into an embarrassing U-turn after trying to ban glass from premises, got into a tangle with happy hours, holds sway over thousands of jobs and is answerable to . . . whom exactly?