Peppa Pig is a successful little oik. I first encountered her a few years ago, in the flesh, at Willows Activity Farm. She had a ‘meat’ and greet. With excited kids in tow, I was fascinated to be met not only by the pink princess but by an extendable barrier guarded by the meanest looking security guard this side of Liverpool. He was one of those stereotypical goons attired in suit, shades and a shaved head who looked like he was on first name terms with the big guns at Maximuscle. He hammed his image up by chewing gum furiously, despite missing a tooth or 15.

Peppa has moved up from the delights of Willows to branding toys, clothing, accessories and foodstuffs. As a role model, she is inoffensive despite having a limited vocabulary, being slightly porky, and contributing to the decline of bacon as a staple UK foodstuff.

Worldwide domination is nearly complete, with a network of territories now totalling 180. Merchandise sales now exceed a quarter of a billion pounds per year and she even has her own (part of a) theme park. It was there, last weekend, that we set foot onto the hallowed turf of Peppa Pig world at Paulton Park in Hampshire.

I’m not a devotee of theme parks. After remortgaging your house to gain entry, and then fast tracking if you are suitably gilded, the queues are long, getting into the car park is akin to getting through customs on the Gibraltar border, and the prices are reasonable, plus a zero on the end. With the kids ecstatic, you have no choice but to suck it up as you are mugged by teenage staff who are pre-programmed to smile and fool you into a false sense of financial security.

With Peppa now employing TV production crews, animators, marketing gurus and Paulton’s staff, she is also responsible for others finding fame, such as Hertfordshire’s own Hayley Bird. Aged 15, she has been the voice of Peppa for 10 years and resides in Tring. She will leave school never needing to work again having brought home the bacon.

So why is Peppa such a draw? The secret of her success lies in her simplicity. For parents, she is a short-term babysitter. The characters drive cars and live in human houses, besides the Rabbit family, who have gone all eco and live underground. They string out a story about splashing in a muddy puddle for 15 minutes and the formula is so successful that they have released a feature-length film. The plot of that I’m unsure about but I guess it will involve something like a trip to Westfield to buy a new trough.

As for the Peppa pig theme park? Well, I must confess I’m a convert. It was clean, the rides were great for the kids, the colours bright and I managed to avoid the shop upon exit. Keep up the good work, Peppa. When looking for activity to while away the holidays, you are the oinkment required to alleviate boredom and that’s not something to be snorted at.