Silence is not always golden

2:29pm Friday 22nd February 2008

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Never interview a mime artist. Five words of unparalleled wisdom from our ever popular colleague Michael Pickard after a somewhat bizarre encounter with some performing arts students late last week.

Stumbling across a group of West Herts College thespians assembled in the town centre, Michael did what any self-respecting reporter ought to do - he took out his trusty notebook and pen and asked the young thespians what they were up to.

Undoubtedly, the best person for Mike to ask surely wasn't the group's mime artist, who (I'm told) refused even to move before 50p was dropped into his hat.

Why not drop him an email at mpickard@london.newsquest.co.uk and request he sends you a full shorthand transcript for "I'm cleaning a window while being attacked by pigeons"? I'm sure he'd be thrilled to be reminded.

With more words and marginally greater impact, two aspects of our humble, not quite in London, certainly not in East Anglia, area have recently made a splash across the British Isles.

First comes an account of walking a dog in Rickmansworth, aptly titled Walking My Dog and penned by a former resident and businessman for Irish pop group Kyron and the Strangels.

It's marginally catchy, and the video is colourful and entertaining, quite unlike anything found in Rickmansworth. It does however slightly baffle me how it's managed to pick up several thousands of views on YouTube. Its subject matter, mainly focused on peering, rather illegally, into other people's windows and property, is also mildly unnerving. Perhaps there's a reason its writer is now living hundreds of miles away.

Fortunately for the songwriter and Rickmansworth residents, the £9,500 dog waste problem recently reported as being located down the road behind Croxley Green's "council officers" has yet to reach the town. I eagerly await a reaction from a Croxley songwriter, grabbing a rhyming dictionary to put together a less family friendly variant of the tune.

From one typographical error, or at least I hope it's a typographical error, to another, slightly wider reaching one.

Upon hearing the announcement that The Watford Observer had made it into Private Eye, many on the newsdesk were predictably excited. Though slightly disappointing, our cinema listing for "Sweeney Toad", reprinted in the magazine's pages, did raise a short giggle. With the launch of the BBC's latest nature documentary series, perhaps a film about a bloodthirsty, hairdressing amphibian isn't too far off.

At least the above muddles merge suitably with the text and mostly convey the intended meaning, unlike a recent press release coming our way about the redevelopment of Bushey Arches.

"Oxheygen" it screamed in bold white lettering, looking as though a stray cat had walked into the borough council offices and pounced on the press officer's keyboard. Though we should be grateful that the council's resident hipsters didn't pull together a plan for "Bushey Archez 2.0 Millennium Edition", "Oxheygen" does leave a rather bitter taste in your mouth.