YOU, M.E & THE RIGHT APPROACH (From Watford Observer)

YOU, M.E & THE RIGHT APPROACH

12:08am Friday 11th December 2009

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By Stacy Hart »

It never fails to amaze me the way people approach each other, either in person, by email, letter, text, or whatever, and I have to say I’m often on the receiving end of some pretty shocking ones myself, it could be that I’m just an old fashioned girl, because the norm today is sooooo not normal in my book, and it is only in my book, a personal opinion, and I have been known to be wrong before........ how many times do you hear a woman say that huh?

For example my music sites have become a magnet for people with what I consider to be the “wrong approach”. www.myspace.com/mamachill. I often receive requests from other bands or artists that want to add me as a friend and then simply shower my page with spam to promote themselves without even saying “hi” Then there’s the other requests, where people fancy you, and before you ask if they had a white stick, yes, I have been approached by a blind man before but that’s a whole other story.

But being a music nerd, I don’t do fancy, dating, flirty chit chat, or anything else for that matter. I literally live and breathe music, everything else is alien, so someone saying they fancy me feels as uncomfortable as being asked to swim across a crocodile infested river with a union jack flag up my bottom.

From personal experience I’m beginning to realise that sadly girls are far worse than boys in their approach. I don’t have a problem if your gay, straight, black, green, blue or a Jehovah witness it’s about having some manners, showing a little respect, But this week just about took the biscuit for wrong approaches.

A pretty 17yr old girl sent me a normal profile picture of herself along with a message to say she was gay and she liked me, so I was just about to send the polite message back that I do to these kind of emails when I saw she’d also sent me another picture.

I always take the time to look at stuff fans send me because I think its just good manners, so I clicked on it and it was one of those pictures where you know what it is but you just cant quite believe it..... I turned my head to the left....I turned my head to the right.....maybe the pic was upside down giving the impression it was something that it wasn’t ? So I swung my head upside down and at that moment I pushed against the computer table and launched myself flying backwards across the room screaming “WWWWWWWWHOAAAAAAAAAA......”

Its way too explicit to go into detail but let’s just say it involved a close up of her nether regions amongst other stuff, and for her own sake I reported her to the sites HQ for violating terms and conditions.

The thing I dont understand and find the saddest is what makes a 17yr old girl think it’s okay to approach someone like this? What about the older weirdoes and sickos that would perhaps come across her picture on the site? What would her mum and dad think or would they even care? But in true predictable stylee my male friends whooped with delight and wanted details of her site so they could check it out for themselves before the pic got deleted ........only a man huh? (And no, before you ask I didn’t give it to them)

So no more explicit pictures please......unless of course you’re Peter Andre in which case send away, but as a first approach please keep you’re underpants on as I prefer leaving something to the imagination. Phew, glad that’s sorted, bet his getting the camera out already.

Talking of approaches you may remember I approached my doctors on the possibility of getting cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), it’s not a cure for M.E, it’s purely a mind therapy that can teach you techniques to help cope with a situation.

They’re often very simple techniques but when you’re so overwhelmed by illness you can’t always see or think clearly. For the last few years I’ve been told i cant have it on the NHS and then recently i was told things have changed and it’s now available, so having coped alone for the last 19yrs as far as the NHS is concerned my doctor referred me for some advanced CBT sessions. www.afme.org.uk I’ve just received a letter to say that as M.E is my main illness i can’t have it because i don’t fit the criteria.

In other words, because i dont have a mental illness i cant have CBT, which is rather ironic because we spent many lonely years fighting the fact M.E was not a psychological illness and refusing the only help offered which often involved psychiatrists, psychologists and psychiatric units, and now finally it’s been acknowledged a physical illness, when we need a bit of help with the psychological problems that often come with a long-term physical illness they’re saying we cant have it.............just checking, are you still awake?.....good, thanks.

So I’m guessing they want to wait until i have a complete breakdown and end up doolaley in the ASDA aisle swinging an axe before i fit the criteria? I will be writing to them to ask them to clarify what the criteria is and put to them what I’ve just written here and I’ll keep you posted. But in the meantime if you happen to see me down an ASDA aisle, dont approach me........run.

Musically I’m still too poorly for the studio so I’ve been promoting from home online and just entered my music into a contest where the prize is a six month worldwide campaign from a top promotional company.

I’ve also entered a BBC competition to write a short true life story, so I’ve documented the point in my life where I was told I would no longer be able to have a music career due to illness and then the fight back to make the demo album and so forth.

There will be five winners whose stories will be made into docu-dramas for TV and also published in a book. With all competitions the chances of winning are miniscule but if you enter at least you have that chance. It’s called “Living Yesterdays Dream” so all the reads and votes it gets would be very much appreciated and thank-you in advance. www.bbc.co.uk/mystory/stories/search/living+yesterdays+dream/

Managed to break free from the restrictions of illness for an hour on Saturday to enjoy some lunch at the Swan in Abbots Langley paid for by a very good friend. Due to still having swallowing problems I opted for a starter and we shared a bowl of chips, but in the words of Gino D’campo king of the jungle it was “fantastico”to have a brief moment of normality and intelligent conversation.

Update on the BT story. Having written to the BT chairman after having no joy with customer services, they’ve now rung and offered three months compensation and also the gentleman from the chairmans office gave me his personal number so I don’t have to encounter the same hassle again. He also insisted on sending flowers as an added way of apology, so alls well that ends well.

In comparison Watford community trust still haven’t responded to my complaint over the shoddiness of Mullaleys, I did phone and was eventually told some guy called Steve was meant to be dealing with it and they’d gee him up if that was alright? I pointed out that it was okay but that I was just going by their complaint procedure that says someone gets back within 10 working days and it’s now 16 working days? I’m sure a quick letter will now be knocked up and back dated so they don’t look incompetent, from experience that’s usually what happens.

This Saturday’s my dads’ birthday get together so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to show my face. Illness often changes what’s important in your life and what’s not, and spending time with people that matter whether friends or family has become important to me because it’s not often I can do it now, and nobody lives forever so I want to make the most of the time with the people I love while I still can. HAPPY BIRTHDAY for the 14th dad.

Have yourselves a lovely weekend, try not to get shop rage if you’re heading into town and don’t forget to visit the market, Santa should be there but if you’re over 16 no trying to sit on his knee. See ya next Friday, stay blessed, back before Elvis :) xxx