2:33pm Friday 5th March 2010
By Claire Maxwell
I know nothing about politics. A mere glimpse of Gordon Browns face on the box and I’m changing the channel before a single word can be uttered (on occasion, in my haste, I have found myself on ‘Traffic Cops’ and even then felt the sheer relief of escape).
I don’t read big newspapers (otherwise known as broadsheets). The pages are much too difficult to navigate, when spread out on a table the words at the top of the page are impossible-to-read smudges, and no one says anything funny. Even when the pictures are of old men in hilariously unfortunate poses, no one even mentions it. Instead the captions usually read something like “Alan Richards, 65. Owner of 74 cats and a micro-pig.” The articles are too long and the writing is too small, giving the illusion that it will not take long to read. Then you’re half an hour in, having only read the first two paragraphs due to the constant re-reading of words and phrases that mean nothing to you, but thanks to your O.C.D feel it wholly necessary to slog your way through the entire 36 paragraphs of political jargon or your family will die. Oh… just me?
All in all, for a lazy [insert expletive] like me, newspapers that don’t have Cheryl Cole’s forlorn face or Suri Cruise's choice of footwear on the front page seem like a little too much effort. *hangs head in shame and returns to hole to dwell*
However, as I have plans to become a journalist (after reading above paragraph you are probably laughing in my face at this very moment (metaphorically)), I thought it may be helpful for me to gain a wider knowledge of the world, the news, and politics.
So as well as Twitter, Facebook and an illegal website for watching Lost online, I opened a few new tabs. The labour, conservative and liberal democrat party websites. Then I spent a good 12 minutes skimming over their policies.
As well as that I decided to watch Question Time for First Time Voters. Dermot O’Leary was hosting, something that almost caused my innards to rupture, but I managed to put that to one side and endure it anyway. And I actually enjoyed it, I found it interesting, amusing (mostly due to the voices/accents of the members of the audience), and felt I even learned a little something. Granted the political jargon still passed completely over my head, but I will learn and become just as annoying as the posh t***’s in the audience. Thats the hope anyway. My personal highlight was when the labour candidate (don’t ask me for names) was debating with popstar, Jamelia. Extremely surreal.
THEN *pauses for suspense* last night I watched the real thing. The real BBC Question Time. Even more words I didn’t understand were used but I still enjoyed it. Namely thanks to the presence of Boris Johnson. Who, may I say, I love with all my heart.
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