Relocating with children after divorce..........so you can’t have contact (From Watford Observer)

Relocating with children after divorce..........so you can’t have contact

11:20am Tuesday 9th March 2010

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When couples separate, they need to agree on arrangements for the children. Who will provide their main home and how much contact will the ‘absent’ parent have.

A good family law solicitor will encourage parents to reach a decision amicably regarding children following divorce/separation. The parents need to learn to work together to agree on all issues that arise throughout the child’s life.

Parents will normally share parental responsibility. This does not change when they separate. They need to agree the important things such as schooling, medical treatment, names changes and holidays. I always advise that unmarried fathers check whether they have parental responsibility. Most family solicitors can answer this question on the telephone. If the father does not have parental responsibility, there are simple ways in which he can get it. If a court application is needed, it is likely to succeed unless he is an absent or abusive father.

Normally parents have decided who the child should live. The outstanding issue is how much contact the other parent has. When asked “How much contact can he/she have?” I reply by advising that it really depends on what the child needs. What most don’t know is that contact is the right of the child. The amount of, and the frequency of contact depends on what the child needs to maintain a relationship with that parent. Other issues do come into the equation for example, money, distance, effect on main carer etc.The first consideration is always what the child needs.

If the break up is acrimonious a parent may consider relocating elsewhere in the country or abroad. Firstly, unless a parent has a Residence Order, he/she cannot take the child out of the jurisdiction without the prior consent of the other parent with parental responsibility. To do so would be child abduction. If the parent has a Residence order, he/she can remove the child for up to a month without consent. However, we always advise that the other parent be told out of courtesy and also in the event of an emergency.

Some parents want to move as far away from the other parent as possible. This may be a genuine move to start a new life and get away from horrid memories and to join family and friends for support. If it was an abusive relationship, relocation may be the best thing. However, the move may be for the opposite reason. It may be to punish the other parent by not allowing frequent and quality contact.

Relocation to exclude the other parent is not putting the child’s interests first. In these circumstances, the courts are shifting towards making the moving parent take some responsibility for creating the distance. I am seeing more and more parents with care/residence being ordered to fund travel costs or even share the journey to and from contact.

Relocating following a break up should be considered very carefully. If the child needs to maintain a relationship with both parents, every effort should be made to facilitate frequent contact making the effect of the separation less stressful for the child.

Best regards, Harjit Sarang