Last weekend my other half wanted to take the kids away for the weekend whilst I had a ‘jolly’ at Ascot. I’ve never been apart from my boys for more than a night before (believe it or not!) and I found myself being most unreasonable and essentially trying to control their activities that weekend. So what advice would I have given my client? Time and time again, I say the same thing. “You must allow your partner to do as he/she wishes with the children, you cannot control their time, they should be encouraged to find their own way to be. You may have concerns but ultimately it’s about trust. You must trust him/her to look after your children and enjoy uninterrupted time. That is how he/she will develop their own relationship with the children. You should not try to control what they do or where they go. It’s ok to voice concerns and give advice but when reassurances are given, listen to them”. Well I took my own advice and only managed to phone 3 times over the weekend for goodnights and good mornings. The kids had a great weekend, ate rubbish, stayed up late (ooops)…….but had a blast! Next time, I won’t give it a second thought.
Best regards Harjit Sarang