If there's anything I know about, it's the X Factor (From Watford Observer)

If there's anything I know about, it's the X Factor

9:03pm Wednesday 10th November 2010

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We’re half way through the live shows and I thought it was about time you heard my opinion.

So far we’ve bid farewell to Nicolo (a favourite of mine from his first audition mainly because he could quite obviously not give a flying fart about the majority of life), FYD (I know, me neither), Storm (a blessing; he was using all the tin foil for his trousers and I needed some for my sausages), Diva Fever (see picture for more details), John Adeleye (Louis requested his departure due to his inability to pronounce John’s surname. Request r.e. Wagner is still going through the system), Belle Amie (their biggest failure was denying us our second opportunity to get rid of Katie), and most recently Treyc Cohen (had to refer to X Factor website for her name).

And that brings us up to date. Mostly I am content with the 8 contestants still with us. Obviously we’ve still got a little filtering to do; some of the most unnecessary of people really have a way of clinging on don’t they?

As of now my top 3 are: Matt, Aiden and Cher. In that order. Although the order does have a habit of changing. Matt because he’s got a very nice face and I enjoy a good bit of facial hair (not on myself I must point out, no, that I do not enjoy). He also has an excellent pair of lungs on him and made me like that Bruno Mars song. Which is an achievement in itself given it had previously made me want to vomit. I like Aiden because he twitches when he sings and makes any song both quirky (don’t worry I am just about to shoot myself for using that word) and sexy. Then we have Cher, the girl with so much swagger she’s looks a little disabled. I can probably be accountable for 90% of the views on her audition video on youtube. These days I turn the sound down a little to lessen the risk of my family having me committed.

I’ll tell you something that I’m not enjoying one bit. Konnie Huq. Seriously producers of the X Factor? Did you REALLY think that was going to be a good idea? She gives Tess Daley competition in the stakes for ‘biggest waste of human organs’.

Hire Matt Edmondson. He’s just great.

I will most probably return as soon as something irritates me. Next time either Louis Walsh/Katie Waissel/Konnie Huq speaks. See you then.

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