No such thing as a simple coffee (From Watford Observer)

No such thing as a simple coffee

3:50pm Tuesday 2nd August 2011 in Your Say By Michael Duffy

After several days of hobbling around with a swollen leg I was finally nagged into promising to visit a doctor.

Part of this is self inflicted as, in an effort to clear up my career threatening football injury, I strapped an ice pack to the back of my leg, fell asleep, and woke up with a numb leg and a nice collection of blisters.

I’ll spare you the bit about hot needles & TCP.

So this morning I took myself off to the surgery to queue for the 9am clinic and was pleasantly surprised to find that I was the only person in there until it was explained that everything was by appointment these days but luckily there was a slot in 40 minutes time.

With time on my hands I chose to visit one of the many coffee shops that have sprung up in Chorleywood over the last few years and was pleased that not only was there a coffee that I knew how to order, a paper to read but also a nice street side patio to watch the world go by. I sat myself in a corner and immersed myself in the newspaper occasionally glancing up as the patio filled with what I think the locals refer to as “Yummy Mummies” but mainly concentrating on how to consume the cappuccino without leaving myself with a milky, chocolaty moustache.

The immaculately turned out Yummies had no such problem as most sipped herbal teas or skinny lattes whilst, oblivious to my presence, they discussed major topics of the day most of which were either shop related or men related, actually most were men related.

As the sole representative of the species that they took so much interest in I was at a bit of a disadvantage as I had simply thrown on the previous days clothes, hair & chin and was still sporting a large stain right on the front of my trousers resulting from a barrel of Guinness that had become a bit playful when I had dared to change it.

All I had to do to reach my doctors appointment was to pull my shirt down over the stain and hobble right through the Yummies whilst sucking my stomach in, only problem being that would loosen my trousers allowing them to cascade downwards.

How I managed it I shall never know and as I pulled clear of the patio I glanced back over my shoulder to see if any of them had noticed…….or even cared.

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