YOU,M.E,DOWN BUT NOT OUT (From Watford Observer)

YOU,M.E,DOWN BUT NOT OUT

11:10pm Thursday 8th July 2010

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By Stacy Hart »

I never fail to be amused, because every time I have a meeting or an appointment or conversation it ends with the person saying “if you’re going to write about this can you not put my name please”........aha, so people actually read my blog then? MWHA HA HA HA HA.................

Actually I’m flattered, and while I believe in telling things as they are, I also believe in being fair when it’s called for, so regarding the Virgin saga from last week and my official complaint via telephone the lady from the Indian call centre did pass it on and someone got in touch during the week to apologize.

A lady from the press office who saw the blog also asked the Watford obs to pass on her number so they could help sort it, so thank-you to her but hopefully it’s already been sorted. As far as I’m concerned it’s done and dusted and I just have to hope it was an unfortunate bumpy start that will now go as smooth as Nutella.......MMMmmm someone mention chocolate?

And I have to admit that compared to the BT speed.....? Lets just say I no longer have time to cook tea, have a bath, shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows and read a book before uploading takes place, Virgin’s fibre optic doobery has been super speedy as said on the can. So onto the rest of my week...............

Last week was the best week I’ve had for about two years, I could say I went out on a date with Peter Andre, got naked in the hot tub on Monday and didn’t resurface until the Friday, but I’d be lying…….it was the Saturday lol! Oh ok, it had nothing to do with hot tubs and everything to do with being lulled into a false sense of security that the M.E had gone, but just for a short while I got a taste of how good life can be……………… Don’t get me wrong, I always appreciate my life, if I wake up and I’m still breathing it can’t be a bad thing, but when you don’t have the luxury of doing things most people take for granted even doing the smallest things can leave you feeling as though you’ve won the lottery.

I started by cutting a hedge and bramble bush and shredding myself in the process, I was cut, bitten and bruised and aware that I was going to suffer for my exertion……but nothing, even after a day or two when the consequences can strike there wasn’t even a flicker of pain…….ooh I like.

So I continued to enjoy my normality and push the boat out by staying up till 1.30am…..not another weekend of sex, drugs and rock and roll, I was trying to sort out the computer and then I sat in bed and continued my challenge of trying to read the bible while eating sweet chilli pringles………this is a girl who knows how to live huh?

Still going great guns by Thursday one of my very good friends (yes I do have one) suggested going for lunch in sarrat, and for the first time in nearly two years I felt well enough to leave these Watford borders, we ended up at the cricketers sitting in the garden, where I was happy to neck down a goat cheese tart followed by a large glass of mango ice cream, we chatted, & laughed and I laughed until I cried, even my dear friend commented on the fact that it was like I’d come back. www.afme.org.uk And that’s exactly how it felt, as though I’d come out of a very long nightmare, a twenty year nightmare to be precise where I’d suddenly had the handcuffs removed, the prison door opened and the world was mine once again. We even planned our next lunch, in Windsor.

I haven’t been there since I was a little girl, where I got stuck in one of those funfair rides that’s like a hamster wheel and you have to run to keep up...…..only I fell smack on my face on entry and spent the next twenty minutes being thrown about like a pair of underpants in a tumble dryer.

My father and brother became rather concerned as everyone came in and out.........except me, and eventually they asked the stall holder to check on me.I remember bouncing off the walls and spinning round and round and then through a blur i saw this lady that looked like Sandy in a scene from Grease, she had bright red lipstick and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and was wearing the most massively high heeled red stilettoes, and she casually walked the hamster gauntlet to get to me........oh the shame and humiliation.

Seeing as though I was unable to stand, she tutted, grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, and dragged me out of the exit, awww sweet memories it’ll be good to go back......only I might avoid the funfair.

But come the weekend things started to change, I knew what it was, I’ve felt it a million times but I wanted to pretend, just a little longer......please.....just a little longer, by Sunday I felt like a zombie (my usual look) and by Tuesday I’d well and truly crashed but still insisted on going to the Gospel arts manna community choir BUT........however bad, however ill I feel they always make me feel better, so when I come home and literally collapse, I do so with a smile on my face........trust me, you need to experience it to know I’m not totally ga ga.......although I guess that’s always debatable.

So I’m down but not totally out and I’m still holding on by my fingertips, yes of course it was my own fault I’ve crashed and burnt but after waiting two years for a bit of normality you can’t blame a girl for wanting to push the boundaries a little huh?

Talking about the choir, they’re singing accapella up by the pond in Watford high street at 2.30pm this Sunday as part of Watford live, I’m really hoping to be able to join them for the first time as I’ve not been able to yet, and seeing as it’s local it’s a great opportunity because it’s not far for me to come home and collapse again afterwards.

I’ve not been able to swallow properly since sunday anyway so exercising the vocal chords a bit more isn’t going to make much difference on the choking front. Whatever happens I hope you’ll come down and support them if you can. www.gospelmanna.com They’re also performing with friends at the Watford palace theatre on Tuesday 13th July at 8’oclock for an evening of gospel music, so get your tickets now.....well not right now obviously, when you’ve finished reading my blog will do. The box office number is 01923 225671.

I’ve been to the studio and everything’s sounding fantastic and I’m so excited by these new trax but I’ve run out of money for now, I’ve got two weeks to scrape another sessions worth together and I’m sorting through my belongings to sell.

I’m also a qualified dream therapist and while it’d be tempting to charge, I’ve always done it for free even for the celebs because it just feels the right thing to do so I don’t really want to change that. So I guess you might just catch me down the bypass swinging a handbag instead. You can check out my music rap/hip hop/indie genre by clicking on the link www.myspace.com/mamachill Well that’s me done for another week, stay happy & healthy, enjoy your weekend & stay blessed, see ya next Friday, back before Elvis :) xxx

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