YOU, M.E & MUM (From Watford Observer)

YOU, M.E & MUM

10:31pm Thursday 19th August 2010

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By Stacy Hart »

Seeing as my mum pops into the Watford observer site to read my blog every week I can imagine she’s now sitting at her computer with a suspicious, bewildered look on her face wondering why she’s in the blog title, why are mums so suspicious? Well, be suspicious no more mum, the reason is about to become clear. Firstly it’s your birthday on Monday 23rd August, so Happy Birthday. The second reason is to pay tribute for not only being my mum but for also being my carer for the last 20years, thank-you. I hope other carers and those suffering with illness will also be able to relate to the following………

While it’s hard being ill all the time, it’s just as hard being a carer if not harder. She doesn’t get to have much of a life and then when the chance of going out without me comes along it’s hard for her to enjoy herself because she worries, knowing only too well how someone with M.E can go from standing to bedbound within minutes. www.afme.org.uk

& then there’s dating, as soon as someone finds out you have an ill grown up daughter living at home there’s a dust cloud as they run in the opposite direction. Although, I have told her it could also be down to her Tony Blackburn style jokes.

The bottom line is however hard it’s been, however hard it still is, she’s still here. While people ask me all the time if I’m ok and how I’m doing, rarely will anyone ask her. Carers are often forgotten, they spend so much of their time caring for someone else they neglect themselves and everyone else seems to neglect them too. Although in recent months she’s become friends with blog reader Mo who has been so supportive and a wonderful friend & really looks out for her so thanx Mo.

Mum stays up all night when I can’t sleep & when I’m in pain she brings me tea with a bit of sugar, because tea with a bit of sugar is the adult equivalent of the childhood kiss that made everything better. She can’t make everything better though and she knows it, and I know it hurts her desperately to see me in so much pain, to see me when I’m at my poorest and not be able to change it. But she’s right there and I know she understands this illness like no other, and that in itself is like a band aid, just having someone who really knows and understands is enough.

Before her head grows so big she can’t get it back out the bedroom door, I have to say we argue like any other mother and daughter, she is the most awkward, argumentative, indecisive person I know, BUT…she’s also the most loving, caring generous person I know, and while we all have negative traits not everyone has the good traits that count the most. I was deciding on what pic to put up that would reflect her personality the most, a cheeky baby one or a cheeky adult one, and then I decided on this Superwoman one, firstly because of the pose.

This picture reminds me of healthier days when we used to go up the town together, and much to my annoyance she used to adopt this pose on the escalators….oh yes, I remember….standing on one leg, arms outstretched as though she was flying up them, the more I got cross with her the more she laughed and then I laughed even though I didn’t want to because I was cross. Nowadays I appreciate you making me laugh and lifting my spirits when life is a struggle and I’m tired and weary from long-term illness. So don’t ever stop being daft, don’t ever stop being you.

The other reason I’ve chosen superwoman is because you have to be pretty special to have sacrificed what you have done and continue to do for me. I’m not the easiest person to live with, and when I get very poorly there’s the tears and the anger and the frustration to contend with, but contend you do, so in case I don’t tell you enough, thanx mum. Now before readers think I’ve gone totally soft I better move on.

Talking of soft, not only do I have jumbled head syndrome courtesy of M.E it seems I’m also losing my taste buds now. After making us both supper of a veggie ham roll the other night, mum pulled one of those faces that look as though someone’s sucking a lemon as she asked “is this butter alright, it tastes a bit rancid?” “What are you going on about? I shrugged, its fine” so she trustingly finished her supper, putting the weird taste down to the veggie ham that I’d drowned in ketchup.

The following morning while making toast for breakfast I took the butter out of the fridge and thought I’d just check the date out of curiosity……..ah…….er….okay, so it was over a month past its use by date. At that moment mum caught a glimpse of my guilty face …how come mums always know huh? So at that point I had to eat humble pie…….but hey, beats rancid butter.

by 11.30am so many different charity bags had come through the letterbox from various companies there were enough to clear out the entire contents of our house, I could’ve recycled them and made a pair of trousers and matching jacket but then I had a better idea instead. I could bag up all the charity bags in one of the charity bags and whatever charity came by to pick them up first could have them all……….sorted.

Then someone knocked on the door, our house backs on to a wood so I was perplexed when a large framed bald headed man with straight face asked “would you like any of those trees at the back taken down?” And what was my reply? “Nooooooo, it’s a woooooooooood; it’s supposed to have trees. Wood, trees, trees, wood” what’s wrong with people?

Musically, I’ve just signed up to a brilliant site called reputationlabel.com, they not only promote unsigned bands and artists, it’s a great site for music fans in general. They have their own live internet radio station with over 1.5 million listeners worldwide.

They’ve very generously been playing my track “Lowdown dirty raw N street” which is going down pretty well, and I’ve been receiving some great feedback, so much so they’ve asked me to submit some more tracks woo hoo. It’s a fantastic opportunity and a privilege to get played to so many people so I’m well chuffed.

www.reputationlabel.com

www.myspace.com/mamachill

www.gospelmanna.com

So that’s it for another week, I’m off to wrap mums birthday prezzie, thanx for reading, until next Friday stay blessed, back before Elvis :) xxx

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