YOU, M.E & DEATH BY WONDERBRA (From Watford Observer)

YOU, M.E & DEATH BY WONDERBRA

10:58pm Thursday 2nd September 2010

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By Stacy Hart »

Okay, so by the end of this weeks blog I might be in danger of being dragged kicking and screaming into the woods at the back of our house, strung up to the nearest tree, and flogged to death by the burning bra brigade better known as “woman”. I don’t see it as betraying my own sex, I just tell it as I see it, and the way I see it? When it comes to relationships women are not only barking, they’re barking and dangerous….yes I’m a woman and yes I may well be barking and dangerous but that’s why I do all men a favour and stay single.

From personal experience courtesy of family and friends, I’ve found the more intelligent and together women are in their work profession the more barking & dangerous when it comes to relationships, although it’s not necessarily a template, this should get men very very scared….if they’re not already, and women thinking about their behaviour, but they won’t of course because they’re never in the wrong……………..while you read on, I’ll prepare myself to be wonderbra’d to death by my fellow sex……………………………….

Dr Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, who was in an on off relationship wasn’t very happy when she went over to her boyfriends’ place and he refused to open the front door because he didn’t want a confrontation, and told her to go away.

Now, if it had been me faced with this situation I would’ve shouted a few obscenities through the letterbox, taken the hint he obviously didn’t want to be with me, go home, get in my pj’s, curl up on the sofa with a tub of hagden das and slag him off to a girlfriend over the phone while watching coronation street.

But not Dr Kotarac, no, she decided to get a ladder and climb up onto the roof, remove the chimney cap and then slide down the flue. If it had been Christmas I might’ve understood, but it wasn’t, it was just a woman who was determined to get her own way and not able to accept “no” as an answer and sadly she paid with her life, because he’d done what most men do when faced with the possibility of “talking” and done a runner out the back door to go and hide somewhere else for a few days and hope that it would all go away.

Dr Kotarac on the other hand got stuck in the flue and suffocated. She was only found three days later when a house sitter came to look after the place and noticed a funny odour coming from the chimney opening.

In another case, five seemingly intelligent women are facing six years each in prison for assaulting a man, one of the women is his wife, apparently the man had been having multiple affairs and all the women found out………..cue theme from jaws, they all got together plotting revenge and lured him to a motel, where he was stripped naked, blindfolded, tied up and his genitals’ superglued to his stomach……..OUCH! guess he won’t be using that again in a hurry.

When something’s bad (usually of male origin) why do women have to hang on to it for dear life because they’d rather that than having to admit defeat or in their eyes failure? Most men would be only too happy to walk away if he could just prise her hands off his ankles.

I have a million and one stories of stupid men but even stupider women when it comes to relationships, the moral of each and every story is….STAY SINGLE….but if you can’t stay single then can I suggest that women make regular trips to a psychiatrist, and men?.......when buying a house buy one without a chimney............Whoa I just had to duck from taking a direct him from a Marks an Sparks 44 Double D…..so moving on.

M.E? Yes, I’m still forever trying to stay on top of it and keep living and laughing, but to say it’s a constant uphill battle would be an understatement. Sadly M.E doesn’t just go away, I can’t take a break from it, there’s no let up, it’s a 24/7 battle, not only with the illness itself but with the demons that often come with it, I can’t bury my head in the sand, or leave facing it for another day, because everyday’s the same, from the moment I open my eyes the fight begins.

From getting dressed to making breakfast, each and everything is an effort and each simple task/movement comes with a consequence that arrives a short while later or a day or two later and comes in the shape of a variety of horrendous symptoms. www.afme.org.uk

That’s why the DWPs benefit assessment of M.E sufferers is shameful. When the doctor asks us to lift our arms up over our head, of course most of us can do it, when we’re asked to walk upstairs of course most of us can do it, I could swing from the chandelier if they really wanted me too, it doesn’t mean that I can hold down a job.

Come live in our house for a week and then you’ll see what living with M.E is really like and what it does to a person and how the level of it often changes within minutes. It’s all about saving the government money and we just happen to be easy targets.

When you see me out I will always look fine, M.E is an invisible illness, you won’t tell from looking at me that I’m in pain, and we’re not talking a bit of a headache here, we’re talking extreme body pain, gnawing away often for three continuous weeks at a time without let up, you won’t be able to tell that my vision is blurred or that I’m ear and eye sensitive, that means instead of seeing people individually and hearing one conversation, every person within eye shot comes at our face at a million miles an hour and we can hear all the conversations and every noise around us, all at the same time...

my eyes and ear muscles go into spasm like cramp, unable to cope with all the sights and sounds, it all becomes terribly painful and it feels as if my brain is going to overload and I’m going to black out, but you can’t see that… You won’t be able to tell that I’m nauseous, that I choke when I eat so I have to chew my food numerous times just in case my swallowing function stops without warning as it often does, You can’t see my skin burning like falling in stinging nettles because the nervous system is playing up causing the nerve endings to come to the surface often leaving purple and red swellings that itch beyond crazy belief, it’s not like I’m going to whip my legs out and show anyone.....

you can’t see it’s taking every ounce of energy to stay on my feet and stop the exhaustion sucking the life out of my body making me bedbound again……… You won’t, because apart from M.E being a cruel invisible illness, I like most M.E sufferers don’t want you to see any of it. Because, we’re proud, embarrassed, independent & frustrated people that in most cases have worked all our lives from a very young age and have found ourselves in a nightmare situation that we don’t want to be in but have no control over because we’re genuinely ill, NOT workshy.

Onto music, Two of my trax made number 1 & 2 yet again this week at New Yorks Noisehead .com out of over 5000 other hip hop trax and reputationlabel.com are still blasting out “Lowdown dirty raw N street” to over 1.5 million worldwide and they kicked last Sundays show off with it.

They have also offered to play more of my trax so I just have to keep on keepin on and hope that eventually I get a break, and I’m adding more of the great comments coming through about my music as and when the people involved give permission for me to publish them on MySpace site. www.myspace.com/mamachill

Mega sadly next weeks blog will probably be my last, I’m grateful to the Watford Observer for giving me this wonderful opportunity and I’ve been writing it religiously for well over a year now. I’m not quite sure if I’ve got any followers apart from the faithful two but there’s been no phone call from the Sunday Times offering me my own column yet lol! It’s not as though I lead some exciting life that I can share with you, and as far as the M.E goes…..well it’s not going is it? And I don’t want to end up just repeating myself or boring you with the same old information every week, so I think it’s come to a natural end.

I’ll look forward to our last rendezvous together next Friday, box of Kleenex compulsory…..if I manage to survive the wonderbra flogging of course, until then stay blessed, back before Elvis…..one last time. xxx

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