Building a virtual Minecraft world with childlike blocks is one way to escape the mundanity of reality. Being more of a traditionalist, I prefer the romance of the board game, or so I thought, as I blew the dust off the mainstays the other day after waking them from their bookshelf slumber. From there they stayed on the dining room table for a good five days, unplayed, before they went back from whence they came. I could not muster up the energy to undertake a marathon Monopoly game, get covered in shaving foam when I wasn’t planning a trim, or work out Whodunnit?

Traditional board games are enjoying a sales resurgence as we seek refuge from the oversaturation of modern day tech. For me, it is a surprise as there are few new kids on the block of any worth. It seems that old school games are as in tune with the times as a UKIP fundraiser hellbent on keeping Britain British as they spark up another Woodbine in the parlour while their filly slaves over a hot Aga.

Cluedo needs updating, although the knife as a weapon of choice remains popular in Khan's London. I am yet to hear of a 21st Century murder involving a revolver or candlestick, although the spanner is a possibility, as the games makers try to ‘ratchet’ up the suspense. In Monopoly you choose to move around as a small dog or a silver top hat as you win beauty contests (which would never happen in a top hat) and tap up your mates for a tenner. In the 1930s, when invented by Charles Darrow, you may have been able to buy a property in Mayfair for £400. In 2018, the average house price averages out at a tad under £14 million. In reality, it would probably take six days to count out the money if revamped.

Games have moved on and now try to recreate Monopoly’s success by catering to niche markets. Sagrada ‘invites’ you and three friends to, and this is what really sold it to me, ‘design and craft historically marvellous stained-glass windows’. Think that’s too heavy? Well you aint seen nothing yet…let me introduce you to Secret Hitler. Five to 10 players, which may limit gameplay somewhat, are each given a secret dossier (bored already?) containing a party affiliation and character card. Starting as a 1930s German liberal or a card-carrying fascist, the aim of the game is to implement policies on the populace as you try to find the secret Hitler. Far too intense for my liking but I imagine it would go down a storm at the next Farage house party.

As it stands, I’m still not swayed from the wonders of Connect 4, but then, out of the blue, along comes Scythe. The pre-amble really grabbed me as a middle-aged balding white man living in the shires: "Re-imagine 1920s Eastern Europe as you compete for regional prestige, resources and territorial control on a hexagonal game board". They had me by ‘1920’s Eastern Europe’: I have often thought I fancy a Saturday night post-First World War board game based around dictatorships, starvation and internment camps. It’s one for all the family and that’s the truth.

I fear we may never see another mass market big hitter and we are stuck with endless rehashes or flash in the pan imitators all dolled up as the fresh new thing. We console ourselves with cheap plastic and little game play, as we continue to attempt to gobble up balls in our hippo mouths or slam each other in the face with that tasteless spray cream. I’m going to go back to the dining room shelf and force myself through the pain barrier and plan to sit down with the family next weekend and finish a game of Monopoly. If we start on Friday night, we should be in the final throes by 6am on Monday morning. Come Tuesday, we will be sick of the sight of each other and retreat to different rooms and revert to Crossy Road on the Samsung galaxy or Fortnight on the Playstation. It’s a lose lose situation, but either way, I’m game…