Social media is awash with those ‘Have you ever?’ lists.
Usually, you give yourself one mark if you have ever skinny dipped, got a tattoo, or been on a cruise.
Quite what the pass mark is has always bemused me but taking those three questions into account, I score one out of three—I will spare you which to avoid spoiling your breakfast.
The focus of these inane quizzes is off, however.
Instead of trawling through past exploits, why not change tack?
Have you ever found Katherine Ryan funny would be a fine starter for 10, with a resounding ‘no’ from yours truly, despite her inescapable presence on every terrestrial channel at present.
Arsenal’s tie-in with the ‘Visit Rwanda’ campaign also seems questionable.
I doubt anyone has seriously chosen a holiday destination based on a football shirt sponsor, particularly one linked in the public mind with the 1994 genocide that left more than 800,000 dead.
It may well be a pleasant place to visit, but the messaging feels oddly pitched.
Has anyone ever been doorstepped by a political party, had a calm chat, and been persuaded to change their vote?
It feels like a statistical impossibility, though I assume there must be evidence somewhere, or they would not keep doing it.
I have never been to a petrol station and felt tempted to fill up with ‘premium fuel’.
Is there any real evidence it is worth the extra cost?
The same scepticism applies to porridge, a peculiar foodstuff which, despite not eating it for decades, still manages to leave a lingering aftertaste at the mere mention of it.
We are continually force-fed bluff and bluster as individuals and organisations push agendas, making us feel like outliers for daring to question what we are told.
Yes, it is all personal opinion, but surely, I am not alone.
Porridge is unpleasant.
Katherine Ryan is not funny.
Rwanda sits low on my travel list.
Awareness days follow a similar pattern.
Banners at football grounds reading ‘Stop racism’ are well-meaning, but unlikely to change entrenched views.
The same goes for other campaigns which can feel less like awareness and more like instruction.
Live your life by all means, but constant preaching risks alienating those who were never opposed in the first place.
The final ‘Have you ever’ I have yet to see, but would happily tick, is ‘Have you ever written a newspaper column?’
As I pass my first decade with Newsquest, I suspect I remain in a small minority.
Yet I could write for another 100 years and still not find Ryan funny, so perhaps we could have a little less of her on our screens.
- Brett Ellis is a teacher who lives in London Colney.
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